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So I scheduled an appointment with the doctor who delivered my son, who was very annoyed that my doctor was shirking his responsibilities, but sent in a referral for me and informed me that he would make my family doctor aware of the referral. Over the next five weeks, my family doctor missed a potentially life threatening condition with me and then had a pissing contest with the doctor, Dr. H, that actually diagnosed my condition. Dr. H scheduled me to see a surgeon, which Dr. S cancelled because he felt he should handle it. Long story short, I ended up needing emergency surgery and suffered three days longer than if I had saw the surgeon in the first place.


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My ex from a fourteen year relationship occasionally worked odd hours, I’d call him at work to ask what he wanted for dinner and to cheer him up a bit. Then, over the course of three months, there would be ad hoc times when I’d call his desk phone but get no answer so I’d call his mobile, initially thinking he had probably finished earlier than anticipated and was on his way home (and to check that he wasn’t keeping me hanging while he went off to the pub without telling me).


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So I’d call his mobile and ask ‘where are you?’. A few times he would indeed ‘be on his way home’ – yet things were off. I’d never told him that I could often tell when he was lying, he had a certain smugness about him when he did it, sometimes he would even have a particular smirk that he would do when he thought I wasn’t looking (and I can ‘hear’ someone’s facial expression when they are on the phone – probably due to many work hours and long distance boyfriends in the past). He would claim that he had just left the office yet there would be dead silence in the background, none of the usual urban sound of cars going by or his footsteps on the pavement etc.


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Or he would be ‘walking to the train station’ but I could here someone in court shoes clearly keeping step beside him for the duration of the call. I began to chat even longer just so I could listen to what was going on around him. I didn’t let on and he grew ever bolder. He started telling me that he was still at his desk. Lol. He worked in an open plan cavernous office yet he was clearly in a small enclosed area when he answered the phone – even in silence the two sound distinctly different. Sometimes he even answered the phone and chatted to me whilst lying on his back.


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I did eventually confront him (there were plenty of other clues too) and I used the fact that I had previously called his desk phone immediately before reaching him on the mobile for the last three months as one of the reasons I believed he was having an affair at work. What I didn’t tell him was the fact that I could also read the background noise so I knew he wasn’t where he claimed to be. Two weeks later he called from work one night to say that he had missed out on getting a pizza delivered to work for dinner (something he never did) and the pizza delivery guy had given up trying to call on his desk phone to get the front door opened – but the phone never rang.


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So by the time my son’s six week appointment rolled around, I had lost a lot of faith in my family doctor. Once again, I asked Dr. S about the referral to a urologist for my son, following up with what the other doctor had told me. He again dismissed it and said it was fine to leave it as it wasn’t as severe as he thought it needed to be to warrant the referral. He cancelled the referral and wanted to leave it until my son was eight-years-old! I told him that I still wanted the referral and after much arguing, he said he would send it in.

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