I didn’t know my daughter had her heart set on earning a Reindeer pharmacy crew Christmas shirt, sweater by T-shirtat specific recognition until several days after the program. She described how it felt to sit there as they called out the recipients. I am learning that oftentimes, our children simply want to be heard in hard moments such as these. I am learning that oftentimes, I unintentionally exacerbate the problem by bringing my own baggage into the conversation. As my child and I laid there in silence, my hand in hers, I distinctly remember watching other kids win the awards and accolades I thought I had a chance to earn.
One middle school year was especially soul-crushing Reindeer pharmacy crew Christmas shirt, sweater by T-shirtat. But how I felt about not getting that award may not necessarily be how my child feels. I am learning to let her tell me what the problem is rather than just assuming it is the same problem I had at her age. Sandy points out that our emotional reactions to the problems our children face often come from past events in our childhood, as do some of our solutions, especially if we have experienced similar situations – exclusion, ridicule, fear, failure – when we were young. Our emotions can cause us to miss important details about the situation our children are facing and influence how they experience it.